You’ve set a big goal, so now what? How do you know when you’re on the path to reach it when you’re not there yet? In this episode, Jeffrey and Aleyah talk about the dance between staying focused and letting go. Give it a listen!

Jeffrey: Welcome to the light in your launch podcast today, we're talking about what it means to let go of the outcome while still holding onto the dream. So stay tuned.

Announcer: Hey, we're the Launch Squad and this is the Lighten Your Launch podcast. We teach coaches and course creators how to lighten their launches. We're bringing you all of the tips and strategies to take your launch from intimidating to money-making. In this podcast, we talk about everything; the sales, strategy, mindset, technical and spiritual aspects of running your best launch ever. So if you're feeling overwhelmed and unsure of the next right step, we're here to bring clarity, confidence, and excitement into your next launch. This is the Lighten Your Launch podcast.

Jeffrey: Welcome back to the show. I am Jeffrey Someran, I'm back again with a last one. And today we want to talk about the ways we hold ourselves back because we don't know how it's all going to play out. And what I mean by that is that sometimes we limit our dreams because we don't know how to do all the things, or we think we don't know how all the things are going to be played out and putting it all together and every step of the way and all of that things. So what we want to talk about today is the fact that we don't need to know that. So a layer of what, what comes up for you on this subject?

Aleyah: Well, I, you know, I've seen this in our own lives as well as many of our clients lives, where they have a big vision, um, and make a vision board and, you know, have this, you know, grandiose goal and then get really frustrated when it's not panning out as quickly as they want it to, or the way that they think it's supposed to look or pan out. Um, and then they get really frustrated and sometimes we'll just even jump ship, you know, even abandon that dream because of the details, not working out the way that they want it to. And so, you know, this is something I work with people on is, um, you know, learning how to pay attention to the next right step, putting your, you know, having your vision, like your goal, like you were just mentioning, like, you know, you know, like you want to make a million dollars in your business or some big goal like that. Um, if you hold on to all the details of how that happens, then you're controlling the, you're the one controlling the ship, and you're not allowing all the universal forces to come in and help you with that dream or that goal and that bigness and our own connection to the divine and the universe and, and even our connection to other people. Like if we think it's all us, then it just limits the possibilities of what, what and how that whole plan can shake down. If that makes sense.

Jeffrey: Yes. Yes. Opening being open to some kind of random, unexpected, um, uh, anything really where, um, I know we we've had this in our lives where we're like, oh, I, I have a feeling that I want to do this, or I want to achieve some goal, make a certain amount of money, start a business, whatever it is. And you know, we'll think about how that's going to happen, but we just don't have the big picture. So we just kind of follow what's happening next and what feels right. So that to me is kind of like that next right step. But how do we know it's the right step?

Aleyah: Well, I want to share our story. I think we've talked about it on our podcast again, but who's tired of our story. No one, and everyone want to hear it again and again and again. Um, but this is such a good example. I feel like when I was younger, I did not get this. And the more I've done, spiritual practice had a spiritual practice and develop my own connection to the divine. I feel like the more I get this piece, which is that I don't need to have it all figured out. I just have to look for the next right step and I do have to take action. I don't just make a vision board and stick it on my wall. I don't even like vision boards anymore actually. Cause I like to just leave it more up to, I like to allow the creativity to come in.

Aleyah: So I'm more like to visualize a goal or write it down, works for me and then let it go. And I have a whole thing where I turn it over to the light and all this kind of stuff. But, um, but for a great example is a few years ago when we moved to Chico and you, you had already started WP in one click and then you were starting make Chico. So you had these different businesses going and I'm doing my, um, angel intuitive practice. And I just kept having this nudgy feeling that we were supposed to do a business together. Couldn't could not figure out what that would look like. You and I talked about it many times over coffee in the morning, just like, yeah, that'd be so great, but what, what, how do we show up together? You're doing a totally different thing and I'm doing, and we couldn't figure out what that looks like. Right? Yeah.

Jeffrey: Yeah. But it, but it felt good to both of us and it felt like we were exciting. Yeah. Something very positive. Something that could be really cool, really helpful for people. But yeah, we didn't know how, how it could fit together and what that would mean. Um,

Aleyah: And I remember us just talking about it over and over again. We would just, we would talk about it and then it was kind of an ebb and flow. Like it would pop up in our minds. We'd have a little conversation and let it go. And I remember consciously saying to my guides, I would say, I hear you. I feel this strong urge and nudge that Jeffrey and I are gonna work together in some way. I have no idea what it looks like. So I'm turning that over because I don't get it right now. So, but I like the idea. So I'm going to surrender that. I'm going to let that go. And then we just followed our next right steps. And that was a process of years before it all actually came into place.

Speaker 4: Right.

Jeffrey: Yeah. And I feel like it couldn't, we couldn't envision what it would be because we didn't have all the pieces of the puzzle. And that was okay. You know, we were like, for example, if we go back to kind of my end of the journey of building business, the business side of things, I created WP in one click to serve a purpose. Right. But then we moved to Chico and we needed to kind of start our own business. So I built make Chico WP and one-click played a role and make Chico. So that was the next right step. But then I realized that, you know, websites, aren't the end, all beat all. They don't make money that you need to start marketing them. And there's a bigger piece of the, the map, which is the funnel. So then I created the funnel map and like every step of the way it was the right next step.

Jeffrey: And it was right around that time where we started thinking about working together and having those ideas, but we could not see what that would look like until running into, uh, Katie and forming a mastermind and meeting new friends. And when we started making new personal connections, then a vision appeared to us and like kind of a, it sounds funny, but like, I'm just saying, we could now imagine what it would look like to work together. Whereas before that was hard to imagine, but after meeting, you know, Katie and other members of the squad, like then it became a reality and suddenly pieces started falling together and then yeah. So quickly. And then that's. Yeah. And that's where it felt like the next right step is to do this and then to do this. But if you would have asked us, you know, back in WP and one-click and make days if we were to work together, or if we were to be building the launch squad, we would have no idea that didn't even conceive. We had a direction, we had an x-ray step. We had, uh, an idea of what we wanted to do, but the entire vision could not come to fruition or even begin to be formulated until certain pieces of the puzzle came to us. And until we had taken enough, right. Steps to do to bring those pieces together.

Aleyah: Absolutely. And I remember it was not stressful for us at this time. I've had other times in my life where my vision not happening, you know, not knowing what my outcome was going to be felt very stressful this time. It did not feel stressful. I think because we had both just come to that. We both are similar in our understandings of not trying to control the outcome anymore. And so I remember we just sort of would talk about it. It was a fun thought. We loved it. We knew we wanted to make it work. And then we just let it go and went about our lives and follow Kips. And we did keep pursuing it. Like we took the action of doing the market research and all of that. And you know, and every step of the way you don't, you're not always aware that the steps you're taking are leading you to this bigger outcome that you desire, but they are, they oftentimes are. So you have to trust it, trust that you're, you know, it does involve a little faith that you're being supported. And the more that you build up that, that muscle, the faith, you know, in your support that the, the universe is supporting you. When you take these action steps, the, the better it is, the more in alignment you feel. Right.

Jeffrey: Absolutely. And I feel like that word faith, um, has so much of a religious context, but I really want to like extract that and say that, you know, in our entrepreneurial entrepreneurial journey, faith plays a big role.

Aleyah: I love Rob [inaudible]. I followed his, um, astrology, uh, weekly astrology readings for almost like 25 years now, but he has a whole concept that he coined called pronoia instead of paranoia it's pronoia, which is the belief that the universe is supporting you. Yes, yes. Everything is conspiring to support you. And the more you tap into that, and I realize, of course not, everybody's in that zone and people's life circumstances are so challenging and we all go in and out of phases like that. And I get that. I don't want to, you know, um, bypass that, but Ben, if you are in a place where you can tap into that energy and, and shift your beliefs and to knowing you don't have to control the whole outcome, I, I really believe it's our higher selves too. So whether you think it's outside of yourself or you think it's inside of yourself, I don't think that even matters. I think just knowing that there is this wise force, either inside of you, outside of you, I think it's both and, you know, guiding you and in a direction then, you know, for people who are more cerebral, like you, you were saying, you just get these repetitive thoughts or you tell us how you, how you know, you're on the right step and how do you choose your next or on the right path. And how do you choose your next right steps?

Jeffrey: Yeah, to me, to me, it's both a feeling and repetitive thoughts because sometimes I do hear these little ideas kind of pop into my mind and, uh, you know, on one hand they'll recur, they'll come back and over and over. And when they do it feels like a fun idea. Sounds like I would enjoy doing it, whatever the idea was. Right. And to me, that's when I can tell, oh, well, that's probably the next right step. It might not make sense to do it when I don't know, in context, it's hard to say, but it could be random things. It could be very specific business-related things, but they feel good. It feels fun. And so I follow it. And oftentimes those result in, uh, sort of showing me the path, if you will. So here's an example is, uh, when I started the funnel map, I wanted to help people, um, start a lead generating funnel.

Jeffrey: So I took James what James Wedmore's, uh, a hundred leads program and found people to take it with me. So we were just taking James as course or as little mini course, but we were just all doing it together. And I thought that would be fun. And from that, we kind of started meeting people and we joined that. We created that mastermind and then that sparked, you know, the launch squad and like, there's so many things that snowballed after that, that I had no idea what happened, but it felt fun. It felt like a good idea. And, you know, I, there was, there was no part of me that ever thought, Ooh, this is going to lead to that. Or this is going, this could possibly spark this idea like that wasn't there. It was just, Hey, this sounds fun. Let's, let's try it. Let's see what happens. Yes.

Aleyah: That was, that's so great. And I'm learning that more and more just to follow the fun energy as you know, that's a big clue that you're on, on a good path. And by that we don't mean checking out, not like follow, not just be, uh, like, you know, like you were saying earlier, not just playing video games, I'll tear that kind of fun, help my business at all. Although taking breaks, that's other, that's an another podcast we talked about, but it's always good to take breaks. You know, don't push yourself too hard all the time. Do you need some fun, but also fun. Like if you're thinking of your path and your business and thinking of a big grandiose outcome that you'd like to have a big goal that you'd like to have guests, it doesn't have to be grandiose, but you know, following those nudges, the internal nudges, you get the repetitive thoughts that you get. A lot of times people will just brush those off, but those are golden. If you're having repetitive thoughts about something, do it, or start the process of doing it, write that stuff down, take action on it. As soon as you can, because the repetitive thoughts are gifts and, and golden little nuggets to follow.

Aleyah: For sure.

Jeffrey: Yes. And, and I, and to me, here's where I feel like a lot of entrepreneurs get lost in the weeds. They lose their way by focusing on the details and trying to figure things out. Because when you think about how creativity and inspiration arrive to you, how, how it happens, that you become inspired. It's never from trying to figure something out through action and stress and effort and push, right. It's always when you're in the shower or walking in nature or relaxing in a bath, like that's when inspirations come. And the idea is that when you think about this goal, you're like, I want to make a million dollars. I want to grow a business, whatever it is, it feels good to you. That goal feels good until you try and think about all of the things that you're going to need to do to get there.

Jeffrey: That's when things start feeling stressful, you're like, oh, I've got to build this website. I don't know how to build a website. Oh, that's stressful. I don't know how to build a website. That means I can't reach my goal, or, you know, I wanna, I wanna grow my business, make more money. And that means I need to create more leads. I need a funnel. I don't know how to build a funnel. I'm stressed out because I don't know how to build a funnel. That means I can't grow my business. Right. So the idea always feels good. But when we try and really figure all the things out and get stuck on all the things, suddenly our emotional state goes from happy and joyful and hopeful to stressed out, blocked, um, you know, stressed out. So

Jeffrey: Confused, confused,

Jeffrey: Overwhelmed, uh, you know, and those, those, that's not the emotional environment that is conducive to collecting inspiration and being inspired, inspired. So I feel like the work really is to stay focused on the goal in a positive light. And James says this all in that all the time, it's F the how for now, like for now, we don't need to figure out all the details for now. We just want to be focused on what's it gonna feel like when I get that goal, what's that emotional state, what's my life going to be like when I'm there. Right. That's the spark that brings in the openness. It brings in the, the, um, the state of allowing. So now you're in the receptive mode. So then you're open to those inspirational ideas that become the next steps, the next right steps. And that's all you have to do, that's it?

Aleyah: Yeah. And talking about the emotions, if you want to get into some real magic, it's letting yourself pretend, you know, go back to when you're a little kid and allowing yourself to pretend, and to really go there in your mind and allow yourself to feel the emotion of achieving your goal, having your outcome, you know, whatever it is. Um, just letting yourself sit with that, let the joy, let the feeling of satisfaction come up, whether or not you're in that situation right now, allowing yourself to embody those emotions you could do, like with your meditation time, you know, if you meditate or just having your own little ritual around it, but that is real magic right there. And that, uh, you know, having, um, glimpses of that emotional state really builds up your magnetism to that outcome. And so that draws it to you. The more you allow yourself to be in that. And of course, you're not 24 7, most likely going to be able to sustain that, just like walking around, just like, yes, I have the house I have always wanted. Even if you're in like a little apartment that you can't stand. I mean, but if you allow yourself to do that once a day for a few minutes, even that it has a profound effect on drawing your, your goal to you.

Jeffrey: Yeah. And here's the thing. This is if, if anyone's and takes away one tidbit of information from this, here's what I would recommend challenge yourself for an entire month to catch yourself between the daydream and the trying to figure out how it's going to happen, challenge yourself to daydream, and then end it right. There don't even go into the weeds of, but I can't do that, but I'm not worthy of this, but I don't know how it's going to happen, but stop at your, stop, your butts and challenge yourself. And you'll probably notice this where you'll be daydreaming. You'll think about something and it's super awesome. And then there's always a, but, but I'm going to have to wait until blank or, uh, uh, but I'll have to make money first, but I'll have to do this, like challenge yourself to have a daydream and sit with it and let it go and let it end with, wouldn't it be nice if period and your

Aleyah: Spirit knows things your mind doesn't. So your mind wants to figure it all out. We love our minds. Our minds are useful tools for helping us figure things out when we need to, but they're not the one that's going to lead us to our goal. I feel like that's more of our divine connection or spirit from, from my always taking it back to the spiritual perspective kind of situation. Um, and so if you will allow that higher self to take over and realize that's the one that's gonna get you to the goal, the mind is more of a tool of that being of that inner being that you are your mind is as a tool for you. And also another point that I want to make is that your steps aren't always going to look clear. So you might have a goal of getting this program out that you want to launch, but your next right step might be to quit drinking caffeine, right?

Aleyah: It's like, you're next, right? So some, some wiser aspect of yourself as saying, well, to get there, you're going to need to sleep. And we know that your body's struggling with sleep right now. So pumping yourself full of caffeine and trying to burn the midnight oil on this project is actually going to harm you, not help you. So your first step is to cut back caffeine. I'm using this example because I've been struggling with this, but, and then when you cut that back, you've got more energy. You've got more ideas, you've got more clarity about the next right step. Right. So, but you would never associate like some lifestyle change with this goal of getting your program out into the world. Right? So, so not questioning those nudges, you know, taking action on your nudges is so important. Whether or not they seem related, they probably are.

Jeffrey: Yeah. And th that kind of brings up the conversation, which we won't go into here on this episode, but I'm sure that's an entire episode dedicated to, is what that, from an entrepreneur perspective, when you are the creator and operator of your own business, there really is no separation work, life balance separation. You know, the things you do in your life are part of who you are and how you show up in your business. So, you know, like Layla was just saying like your coffee addiction, or maybe it's an alcohol addiction or whatever, that's gonna affect how you show up in your business. And it's going to affect your business much differently than if you were an employee and you just, you know, went to work for Comcast or something. And, you know, when you showed up, you showed up and did a job. And when you left, you left all of that behind, and it didn't matter what you did afterwards. That's totally different and probably for another conversation, but they're all, you know, as an entrepreneur, it's all mixed together. You bring your baggage to work.

Jeffrey: Yeah. And you can't really avoid it.

Jeffrey: Amen. Well, is there anything we want to add to this, to, to wrap this up and call this episode complete?

Aleyah: Well, if anyone is not put off by all the woo that I love, I do want to just give you a little tool for, um, for making this happen. This is what I do when I have a goal, like, um, Jeffrey and I were talking about at the beginning, like I just knew that I wanted to work with Jeffrey. Somehow. I knew I did not want to be his VA. That was very clear, but I wanted to somehow work with we, we wanted to work together with our own expertise that we both had. And so, you know, and in that case, I just, I kept feeling that so strongly. And so I just turned it over and I do a little visualization where I either use a hot air balloon, um, visualization, where I put the, whatever it is I'm wanting to surrender. I put into the basket.

Aleyah: Then I go around the basket with a little light saber, and I cut the ropes that hold the, the hot air balloon down to the ground. And then I just watch it float up into the light. And that's one visualization you can use, or I'll just like, turn it over to the light or my guides. And just say, I hear, you know, I really want this thing to happen, but I don't want to control it. I'm going to surrender it. And I'm asking for help. And, and then I just let it go. And then I look for my breadcrumb trail.

Jeffrey: Hmm.

Jeffrey: You know, I love that, that hot air balloon analogy for another reason, too, because if you think about it, hot air balloons are completely at the whim of the direction of the, the wind. Like there's no steering, a hot air balloon. You can go up and you can go down, but you are going wherever the wind is blowing and you might end up in Oz fingers. But you know, that same idea is there is it, when you get in a hot air balloon, there is a part of the journey. You really have to let go of like, there's no controlling it. You know, you get, you get some control, you can go up, you can go down, but you're not controlling how fast you're getting there and kind of even where you're going to end up. Right. And I, I love that analogy because when we do have a goal, we have this idea that we want to do something there's so much of it that we just kind of have to let go of and be like, well, I don't know how we're going to get there, but something's going to happen. I know it's going to happen, but I don't have to happen.

Aleyah: Well, and something I'm learning just as I go along my life's journey is that the journey is the, that is the goal. Really like the goal. There's always a new goal, right. You're never just done. Yeah, no, you're never done. You're just, we're always, we're kind of programmed with this desire to grow. I feel like. And so enjoying learning how to enjoy every step of the way, instead of always wishing I was somewhere else or had already achieved my goal, you know, the goals are secondary to me now. And the, the smaller bits, the journey to the next breadcrumb channel and enjoying the moment that for me is, is more gratifying than it's ever been before, because I'm choosing to, to see the gifts in those steps. And in each moment, instead of always taking myself out of the moment, by being focused on the future

Jeffrey: Journey is the goal. That's next level right there, man. Right.

Aleyah: And it really works. It does work if you, you know, now I have a gratitude practice in the morning. And at the end of the day, I do a sacred inventory where I go back through my day and think of all the little sacred moments I've had. And those two things really help keep me aware, more aware of the little things, the gifts that I'm having an a in my daily life, the little magical moments and just appreciation for, for what is now. I still have goals. I really do. But there, I just know that once I get that, once I achieved that goal, I know that I'm going to have another goal. Cause I, you know, I feel like we're like gardens. Like we just want to grow. That's just our nature. We just want to grow. And that's just gonna, you know, but so don't, don't give the goal too much importance.

Jeffrey: I love, uh, Abraham Hicks, a little analogy of the cruise when we're talking about, you know, the, the journey is the goal and the journey is the fun of it where she they'll say, you know, when you're taking a cruise, imagine you're embarking from, from Seattle. You're going to go up to Alaska, cruise around and come back to Seattle. Well, you're leaving from Seattle and you're coming back to Seattle. Well, why even go at all? We'll just, we'll just get off the boat right now and, you know, save ourselves. If the end result, the goal is to come back to Seattle. We're already here. So why go on the, why go on the journey at all? Right? No one ever says that, because journey is the fun. The journey is the goal. Yeah. I think that's so powerful. So I would challenge you dear listener to set some goals, have some dreams, but after the, how for now, leave him at a dream, sit with that good feeling.

Jeffrey: It doesn't, you don't need to figure anything out. And you're going to do that anyway, along the way. So stay in the journey, love the journey, even the parts where things start to get confusing. And I think that's another point of this is that when things start to get confusing, um, I heard, I heard it said a million times that when a problem arises a solution arises or something to that effect. So even staying in that journey and staying in the curiosity in the unknown, like that's all part of the journey. So, you know, enjoy it, enjoy it. All right. Thank you, dear listener for hanging with us during this, uh, talk, if you enjoyed this episode, please leave us a five-star review, hit that subscribe button and you can check out all the show notes at the launch squad, forward slash episode 28. All right. We will see you next time.

Aleyah: Next time.

Announcer: Hey, thanks for listening. If you'd like to have clarity, confidence and excitement around your next launch, join us in the Lighten Your Launch Facebook group today at We also invite you to download our free gift, the Lighten Your Launch starter kit, the free guide to creating an irresistible offer, pricing it right, overcoming tech barriers, and tapping into the energy you need for success. Get it now at

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About the Show

The Lighten Your Launch Podcast is for Coaches and Course Creators who want a lighter online launch experience. Maybe you’ve done a few launches already, and feel exhausted just thinking about it! Or, it’s been one of your goals, but you don’t know where to start.

Tune in to learn from our team of experts, The Launch Squad, who aren’t afraid to dig into all aspects of launching: sales, strategy, technology, mindset, funnels, and even a bit of woo to get you through the toughest times. Let’s put a stop to perfectionism and procrastination, and finally take your launch from intimidating to money-making!